You Always Get What You Want — Here’s Why (and How to Change What You Get)
Let me start with something that might feel bold: you already always get exactly what you want, because you get what you choose to be. If you feel stuck or frustrated in your blog business, it’s not because the universe is blocking you, it’s because part of you is quietly and consistently choosing a version of you that doesn’t have that outcome.
That sounds counterintuitive, so let’s walk through how this works, especially as a food blogger who wants not just traffic but income, influence, and impact.
The identity result feedback loop
It starts with identity, not action. Your being determines your doing, which produces your results. If you want new results, you must first become someone who already gets those results.
James Clear popularized this in Atomic Habits. He says:
“Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of the type of person you believe that you are.” (jamesclear.com)
You’ll keep doing what your identity supports. That’s why many goals fail. You might declare, “I want 10,000 visitors a month” or “I want to make a new $5k offer,” but if your internal story is, “I’m just a hobbyist,” or “I’ll never be trusted,” your brain resists acting like someone powerful.
Identity is the underlying reason behind why you choose some actions and reject others.
When you don’t get what you want, often it’s because you default to a safer identity, one whose boundaries you already know and that can run your default menu of habits.
Why we choose a “lesser” identity
This is the human brain’s comfort trick. The brain loves the familiar. Familiar means predictable, less risk, less cognitive load.
So if you imagine a version of yourself that has a wildly successful, monetized blog with consistent income and the image doesn’t match with who you already believe yourself to be, your brain will subconsciously block the new version.
The blocks typically sound like helpful stories, such as, “That doesn’t fit what I know about you. Stay closer to home.”
And when you hear those stories, you unconsciously choose familiar. Programs of self-sabotage, procrastination, avoiding premium offers, underpricing, and/or staying small automatically kick in. Next thing you know, you are doing the opposite of what you wished for.
You’re not “bad.” Your brain isn’t “bad”, either. Your brain is simply protecting you from what feels too foreign or dangerous.
But that protection costs opportunity.
What to do when your results don’t match your desires
Here’s the shift: to get something different, you must become someone different in your thinking, your habits, and your vision.
Here’s a 4 step roadmap:
1. Catch the identity conflict.
When you see a result you don’t like, ask: “Which version of me is choosing that?” For example: “Which version is selling at $27 instead of $97?” or “Which version is ignoring SEO?” That helps you see the hidden identity in play.
2. Question and rewrite your stories.
Write down beliefs like “I’m not an expert,” “I’m not qualified to charge more,” or “People won’t take me seriously.” Then ask: are they facts? Or assumptions? What alternative story could I choose that supports what I want?
3. Act as if you already are that version.
Pick one small behavior that would only make sense if you were already someone who gets your goal. Maybe that’s emailing an influencer, setting your rates ambitiously, or building a membership. Act that way.
4. Reinforce the new identity with consistency.
Habits are how identity gets embodied. Every time you act in alignment with the new version, you strengthen the neural wiring for that identity. Over time the new version becomes your default.
Practical application for food bloggers
Let’s ground this with food-blog-specific examples. Imagine you want a high-ticket offer, or coaching, or access to brands. But your content still feels like you’re just giving recipes for fun. That happens because your identity is still “recipe sharer,” not “blogpreneur” or “impactful educator.”
Here’s how you might shift:
Revamp a blog post template to include authority-building sections (e.g. case studies, results, lessons) instead of just ingredients + cooking steps.
Build a new revenue stream like a mini course, membership, or coaching package, even if it feels scary, to force the shift in identity.
Publicly claim your mission in an “About Me” rewrite. You’re no longer just a food blogger, you’re someone helping people cook healthier, smarter, or better. People are waiting for you.
Want help applying this to your blog?
The inevitable tension, and why it’s worth it
Changing identity is uncomfortable. There’s internal resistance. Doubts, fear, the “old you” throws a tantrum. But staying in comfort will never deliver growth.
The version of you who is getting the desired results waits for the version of you who becomes worthy. Your proof will come through action.
So if you find yourself frustrated, “I tried content marketing, Pinterest, collaborations,” etc. pause and ask: which version of me is operating right now? Is that version the one who gets what I want? If not, that is the clearest signal you need an identity upgrade.
Final thoughts + call to shift
You always ultimately get what you want, sometimes slowly, sometimes via detours. But nothing stops you from aligning your identity first, then letting your actions and results follow.
You have what it takes. It’s just a matter of letting go of the comfortable “you” that isn’t allowed the prize, and choosing a new you.
If you want help redesigning your identity to match your food blog goals, I’d love to guide you.
Schedule your personalized call here.
FAQ for SEO & clarity
Q: Why do I have to change my identity to change my results?
Because your brain resists dissonance. You’ll only do what fits the identity you believe. Behavior change that doesn’t match identity rarely sticks.
Q: Isn’t this just positive thinking or “fake it till you make it”?
It’s deeper. It’s not surface-level cheerleading. You’re reprogramming beliefs, rewiring neural pathways, and acting compatibly with the identity you’re cultivating. Over time it becomes real, not fake.
Q: How do I know which version of me to become first?
Choose the version that’s one level above where you are, one you can embody with some stretch but not so far that it paralyzes you. Then gradually expand.
